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The following are a selection of my favourite poems written at various points in my life, and usually inspired by a person or a life event. They vary from the light-hearted to thought-provoking. I hope you will enjoy them!

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Please note:  all poetry featured on this website is copyrighted and is not to be reproduced without permission or without crediting the source and author.

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The Tale of the Haggis

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The tale of the Haggis, was not a happy one,

For being chased around wee hillsides was not a lot of fun,

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And then there's Robbie Burns, a man whom all Haggis hate,

For it's at his celebrations, that they would end up on a plate.

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For years they were terrorized by people great and small,

They even tried to catch Nessie, the goddess of them all.

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Until that is, a wee young haggis from o'er the yonder glen,

Spoke out for all the haggis. His name is haggis Ben.

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He wanted liberation, to set the haggis free,

From ending up at parties, as lunch for you or me.

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So, he set out with a mission; to win the Highland Games,

In front of many people, kings and queens and dames.

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He brought himself some bagpipes, a wee Scots tartan to

And practiced on the hillsides, until all the tunes he knew.

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He fed himself on porridge, with no sugar, only salt.

He practiced tossing the caber, throwing the hammer, doing a vault.

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Night and day you would see him, tackling every event,

Could he be the greatest champion that the haggis god had ever sent?

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The big day came, the castle grounds were packed.

The events were all just starting, all needing to be attacked.

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First, he won the dancing, the reels and the flings,

He won the highest honours that Highland Dancing could ever bring.

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His rendition of Amazing Grace, it had the crowd in tears,

The wee Scots lads and lasses just couldn't believe their ears.

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The last event, the tossing of the caber, was about to end the day,

Ben winning this one the crowd sighed, no chance, no hope, no way,

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But up he stepped, the caber he tossed high,

And far and wide and many a mile into the distant sky.

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Every event he had entered, he had always won the prize,

He'd beaten all the heavies, musicians, girls and guys.

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The Queen, she asked him, if he had a wish, as he was knighted on the spot.

Yes, freedom for the haggis, here's the contract, just sign along the dots.

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So, now when e'er you eat a haggis, its only that in name,

It's the poor ole sheep that has to suffer, which seems to be a shame,

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But until a sheep will no longer stand the chop,

You can still eat your haggis, homemade or from a shop.

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The mind though of the haggis, can now be allowed to rest.

For it has the freedom of Scotland, thanks to Ben who beat the best.

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Unharried by the maidens, Ben now lives in peace,

With the royals at Balmoral, until his day the cease.

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The tale of the family Brown

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Here's a day in the life of the family Brown,

An average bunch from the edge of town.

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There's a mother and a father and Ashleigh their son,

And three young girls, ages twelve, eight and one.

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Plus, a whole host of creatures who we'll all get to meet,

So now let's start this story in Anywhere Street.

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The birds are singing, the clouds are high,

The sun has risen, lighting up the sky.

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The alarm clock rings its piercing tones,

Life struggles out of bed with sighs and groans.

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The Monday rush has started, no time to hang around,

All are late arising, even Bruno the bloodhound.

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Breakfast is hurried in its usual way,

Cold tea and toast the order of the day.

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Now Emma's stomping up and down, she just can't find her shoe,

The postman arrives at the door, with not one bill but two.

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Father reads them hurriedly and then begins to shout,

That's another flaming hundred quid I'll have to fork out.

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Mother tries to calm him down and feed the baby too,

And the cats have started fighting like they always seem to do.

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And then the mass exit - the kids are off to school,

And father's off to surgery to write his usual scrawl.

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But with traffic at a standstill, more roadworks up ahead,

By the time he gets to work, his patients might be dead.

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At last, though he gets there, as usual very late,

His patients are all grumbling, for all have had to wait.

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All is peaceful back at home, tranquility restored,

And mother's tidying up the house, no time to get bored.

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The babies flat out, fast asleep, the dog is snoring well,

But how long can the quiet last? Only time can tell.

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The lessons have now started in the local school,

Emma's doing history, Lisa's breaking rules

And Ashleigh's doing painting, mostly on the toilet walls.

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Mother is still busy doing all the chores,

The cats continue in their daily wars.

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Father down the surgery is gradually going mad,

For a dozen hypochondriacs are all the patients, he has had.

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Finally, evening comes around and all are back at home

And the arguments have started on who first may use the 'phone.

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Dinner is now ready - it's Cottage Pie tonight,

For once it isn't burnt, in fact it tastes all right.

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Another fight, over what to watch on T.V.

But father puts his foot down, there's a program he wants to see.

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The kids continue arguing, father can stand no more

And tells them all to go to bed or their bottoms will be sore.

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It's been a really tiring day, so parents take an early night,

But baby wakes up suddenly, giving everyone a fright.

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Soon though all is quiet, the family is fast asleep,

The cats are happily purring all curled up in a heap.

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Morning is approaching, the stars have left the sky,

The birds are singing sweetly, the clouds are floating high,

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The alarm clock rings its piecing tones, it's time to arise once more,

And all are wondering aimlessly what the day will have in store.

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But that's another story to be continued one fine day,

Of an average type of family, at home, at work, at play.

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